17/03/13

i'd been kidnapped by Steve Coogan and someone who looked like Spud from trainspotting but he was called shag. shag was really evil and horrible and kept me in a really derelict house that noone would find and raped me a load. i started out terrified and cried and screamed a lot. he didnt let me wear clothes and i followed him round everywhere. i started to get quite stockholm smdrome-y and my spirit got broken a bit and i just followed him round laughing at his jokes and doing whatever he said. but then steve coogan let me go to college and i ran to my house and i told my mum what happened and she went all crazy and killed them both. fanx mum :')

16/03/2013

i was an olympic swimmer and they'd invented goggles that allowed you to breathe underwater. i was swimming in a local pool and i went down a lane that was walled on all sides and a man who was carrying a lady swam down after me. i told him about the goggles and suddenly he turned evil and got a crowbar (where from????) and said he was going to get them off me. the aldy he was carrying whispered something in his ear and he dropped the crowbar really angril and spat at me and then swam in the opposite direction. he hoisted the lad over his shoulder and started whacking her bum. realy weird but he goggles were so cool!